When navigating parenting schedules, especially after a separation or divorce, some parents struggle with the idea of accommodating their children’s activities during “their” custodial time. A common sentiment is, “I don’t want to spend my time driving to soccer, baseball, or dance practice.” But here’s the truth: it’s not your time—it’s your child’s time.
Why Kids’ Activities Come First
Children’s extracurricular activities play a crucial role in their development. They help kids build confidence, develop skills, and form social connections. When parents prioritize these activities, they send an important message: “Your interests and growth matter.”
Whether you live in an intact household or share custody, the principle remains the same. Being a parent means putting your child’s needs and interests above your own. Supporting their involvement in activities demonstrates love, commitment, and stability, even during challenging transitions like divorce.
Custody Doesn’t Change Parenting Responsibilities
Custodial time isn’t about what works best for the parent—it’s about creating an environment where the child can thrive. This includes encouraging them to participate in sports, arts, and other interests that foster growth. Refusing to take your child to an activity because it’s “your time” undermines their opportunities and disregards what’s best for them.
A Unified Approach to Activities
If you and your co-parent struggle to agree on extracurricular commitments, consider these strategies:
- Discuss schedules upfront: During custody discussions, plan for how activities will fit into each parent’s time. This can minimize disputes later.
- Keep communication child-focused: Frame decisions around the child’s needs and interests, not convenience or personal preferences.
- Show enthusiasm: Even if you don’t enjoy the activity, support your child’s passions. A positive attitude can make all the difference in how your child experiences the event.
Final Thoughts
When you’re faced with the question of whether to accommodate your child’s activities during your custodial time, remember: it’s not about you—it’s about them. Taking your child to their activities, cheering them on, and being part of their world is a vital part of parenting, regardless of household structure. Prioritize your child’s needs, and you’ll help set the foundation for a healthy, happy future.