I’m Julie Potts, a family law attorney practicing exclusively in Chester County, Pennsylvania. I’ve spent over 20 years navigating the complexities of divorce and custody—first as a prosecutor, and now as someone who spends her days helping families through some of the hardest chapters of their lives.
And here’s something you should know about me right away:
I don’t love divorce.
I love information. I love clarity. I love empowering people to make decisions that won’t implode their lives five years from now. This blog—and the podcast it comes from—exists because there is so much bad information floating around, especially when emotions are high and relationships are unraveling.
So today, we’re talking about what mental health actually looks like inside family court, how it’s misunderstood, and why you should never feel ashamed of seeking help.
Courts Don’t Want to Diagnose You—and That’s a Good Thing
One of the first myths I like to dispel is that a judge is going to psychoanalyze you from the bench.
They’re not. They know they’re not qualified.
That’s why mental health evaluations exist.
With the updates to Pennsylvania’s custody laws under Kayden’s Law, courts have even more tools to assess safety, risk, and parental stability. But here’s the important part:
Courts rely on trained mental health professionals—not assumptions.
Evaluations aren’t based on your self-reporting alone. A proper evaluation includes:
- Psychological testing (MMPI, inkblots, etc.)
- Input from the other parent
- Review of records and collateral interviews
- A trained expert interpreting the results
This is not a “gotcha.” It’s a safety measure designed to protect children and parents.
If You’re Taking Medication or Seeing a Therapist: Lift Your Head Up
I cannot tell you how many people—usually women—sink into their chairs during a consult and whisper things like:
- “I’m on Zoloft.”
- “I take Wellbutrin.”
- “I’ve been struggling with anxiety.”
- “My spouse says the court will use this against me.”
And every time, I tell them the same thing:
You should be proud that you’re taking care of yourself. The court wants to see that.
Treating your mental health does not make you a bad parent.
Ignoring it? Hiding it? Pretending nothing is wrong?
That creates problems.
If you’re in therapy or taking medication as prescribed, the court views that as a positive—proof that you are stable, responsible, and engaged in your own well-being.
When Mental Health Issues Do Affect Custody
For the majority of cases—what I call the “middle range”—mental health does not significantly change custody. Courts might add “special terms,” like:
- Continuing therapy
- Following medication recommendations
- Providing a quarterly letter from your provider confirming compliance
But these apply to both parents equally. They’re safeguards, not punishments.
It’s only when we move into the extremes—untreated illness, dangerous behavior, personality disorders, significant impairment—that custody becomes more restricted.
Think of it like a bell curve:
- Most people fall in the middle and remain fully capable parents.
- A small percentage fall into high-risk areas that require closer supervision or limited time.
Even then, the court’s goal isn’t to cut you out. It’s to give you every opportunity to demonstrate stability.
If you’re willing to do the work, your custody can expand. If you’re not, the court will see that too.
Supervised visitation, professional monitoring, and safety plans aren’t punishments—they’re pathways.
Weaponizing Mental Health Is Not a Strategy
It happens more often than you think:
One partner says, “I’m going to tell the court you’re depressed/anxious/on medication.”
And to that, I say:
Let them.
If you’re in treatment, you’re doing exactly what a responsible parent should do.
What is a problem is hiding information from your attorney.
If I find out from opposing counsel that my client has:
- Prior PFAs,
- Past inpatient stays,
- Medication misuse, or
- Other significant events
that they never disclosed to me, that becomes an issue of credibility—not mental health.
You can’t protect yourself if you don’t tell your lawyer the truth.
The World Has Changed—and That’s a Good Thing
We are asking more of parents today than any generation before.
Two working parents, overscheduled households, constant pressure to entertain, support, and “be present”—it’s a lot.
And courts know that.
What once would have been labeled “a problem” is now recognized as:
- stress,
- trauma,
- modern overwhelm,
- and human limitation.
Different parenting styles are not mental health disorders.
Having boundaries does not make you rigid.
Feeling anxious does not make you unstable.
Getting help does not make you unfit.
So What Can You Do to Protect Yourself?
Here are the real, practical steps:
1. Be transparent—with your lawyer and your providers.
Share what medications you take.
Share whether you’re in therapy.
Share any history that might surface later.
Your lawyer can’t fix what they don’t know.
2. Get help early—especially for your kids.
In PA, once children turn 14, they control their own mental health decisions.
So starting therapy earlier gives them support and establishes continuity before they can refuse treatment.
And please—let your kids have a safe place to vent about you.
They need it.
3. Don’t overshare the wrong things.
No one needs your therapy session transcripts.
Your private thoughts stay private.
4. Don’t weaponize mental health against your co-parent.
It backfires—legally and emotionally.
5. Know that courts are looking for stability, not perfection.
No parent survives being judged on their worst moment.
Not you. Not me. Not anyone.
The Bottom Line: Mental Health Is Part of the Human Experience
You are not weak for needing support.
You are not unstable because you have anxiety.
You are not unfit because you take medication.
You are not broken because you’re struggling.
You are human.
And in family court, mental health isn’t the enemy—silence is.